Five Pranksters, One School
by UniMyth
Summary: James, Sirius, and Remus (as second years) go forward to when the Weasley twins were second years. Can Hogwarts handle all five of them at once? Will they manage to run all the Slytherins out of Hogwarts? (I wish.) Please R&R!
1. Not in Kansas

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If you want to talk to the owner, call J.K. Rowling.

Summary: James, Sirius, and Remus (as second years) go back to when the Weasley twins were second years (the year before Harry, Ron, and Hermione start). Can Hogwarts handle all five of them at once? Will they manage to run all the Slytherins out of Hogwarts? (I wish.) Please R&R!

A/N: I love reviewers!!! –hint– And if anyone wants to use any of the spells I create, just e-mail me: HorseElf9@netscape.net

"Sirius, have I ever told you that you're mad?" James asked, referring to Sirius' latest "plan" to drive the Slytherins batty.

"James, this plan is completely, one-hundred-percent foolproof!" Sirius replied, looking hurt. James didn't fall for it.

"Except for what?"

"We need Remus," Sirius mumbled.

"What?!" James yelped. "Remus isn't going to want to do this, Sirius! You know what he thinks about annoying the Slytherins!"

"He'll come with us," Sirius insisted. "We just have to present it to him properly. Besides, this is different. Snape called a Hufflepuff first year 'Mudblood' earlier."

"Sirius, you know I'm going to go along with most of your crazy plans, but I think I'll let _you_ persuade Remus. Is Peter coming with us?"

"No. I want to do this as soon as possible, which means tomorrow night, and Peter has detention, remember?"

"Yeah." James grinned at the memory. Peter had totally messed up in Transfiguration. McGonagall had had to stop the class for ten minutes to round up all the little frogs that Peter had accidentally made appear. She had _not_ been happy, and ended up taking twenty points from Gryffindor and giving Peter detention –and on the first day of classes, too.

"Well, I'm going to sleep," Sirius said suddenly.

"What about Remus?"

"I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"What are you going to do when he says no?"

"Bug him until he changes his mind," Sirius replied promptly.

James rolled his eyes.

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The next morning, Sirius talked to Remus about the prank. As James had known he would, Remus refused. True to his word, Sirius didn't give him a moment's peace until dinnertime, when Remus finally relented. "We're going to get caught and put in detention," he prophesied darkly. "_Separate_ detentions, since the teachers know better than two put the two of you, at least, in the same detention. I should kill you two."

"Whatever you say, Remy," Sirius replied cheerfully.

"Don't call me Remy," Remus said, gritting his teeth and glaring at Sirius.

"Ahh, you're no fun, Remus."

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That night, the three of them squeezed under James' Invisibility Cloak and snuck out of the tower, heading towards the dungeons. When they got to the entrance of the Slytherin common room, they pointed their wands at the floor. "On the count of three," Sirius whispered to them. "One…two…three! _Luteus pavimentum!_

The spell was supposed to turn the stone floor slowly to mud. Deep mud. Mud that would cling to the Slytherins and resist any and all attempts to remove it.

It didn't work. Instead, all three pranksters were thrown hard against the opposite wall. For a moment, Remus felt like he was using a Portkey: there was same whirl of color, light, and sound. Then he blacked out like his friends.

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James came to first. By some miracle, no one seemed to be up yet. Groaning, he brought Remus and Sirius around.

"What happened?" Sirius asked, rubbing his head.

"That stupid spell of yours backfired," James informed him. "I told you that you were mad."

"Let's just get back to the common room," Remus said before Sirius could answer James. "_Before_ everyone wakes up."

Reluctantly, James and Sirius agreed. The trio threw the cloak over themselves again and made it up to the second floor before they heard footsteps. Not wanting anyone to run into them, especially since the person was probably a teacher, the second-years pressed themselves against the wall.

It was Snape…but not the twelve-year-old boy that James and Sirius loved to torment. This Snape was much older, with a slight aura of menace to anyone who crossed him.

Remus, Sirius, and James stared at each other.

They were _so_ not in Kansas anymore.


	2. Talking to Dumbledore

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If you want to talk to the owner, call J.K. Rowling.

Summary: James, Sirius, and Remus (as second years) go back to when the Weasley twins were second years (the year before Harry, Ron, and Hermione start). Can Hogwarts handle all five of them at once? Will they manage to run all the Slytherins out of Hogwarts? (I wish.) Please R&R!

A/N: I love reviewers!!! –hint– And if anyone wants to use any of the spells I create, just e-mail me: HorseElf9@netscape.net

Thank you to FrozenFlare for being my first reviewer! –does a happy dance–

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It took the boys almost five minutes to recover from the shock of seeing their old nemesis a fully grown adult wizard; one who probably knew even _more_ hexes now then he used to.

Sirius shed his paralysis first. "Where are we?" he asked, understandably confused.

Remus glanced over at him. "We seem to be at Hogwarts. I think _when_ we are is the more pressing question."

"So _when_ are we?!" James asked.

Remus shrugged. "Judging from Snape, probably somewhere between fifteen and twenty years. In the future." He looked around curiously, wondering how much had changed. A thought struck him. "I wonder if Dumbledore is still here?"

"He better be," James replied fervently. "Because we need to talk to him right now! I bet he's the only one who can get us back to our time…you know, the time when Snape wasn't fifteen to twenty years older than us!"

Remus looked at James in disbelief. "We're more than a decade in the future, and you're upset that you can't pull a prank on Snape?"

"Yeah."

Remus shook his head. That was James for you. Always had to be pulling a prank. He sighed. "Let's go see the Headmaster, and hope that it's still Dumbledore."

When they reached the gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster's office, they stopped dead, realizing that none of them knew the password, which was extremely rare. Sirius and James were sent to Dumbledore so often that normally at least one of them knew the current password.

"Acid Pop." Sirius said. It was the most recent password he remembered.

Nothing happened.

"Well, he probably isn't awake yet, anyway," Remus pointed out. "We should probably wait here for him to come down."

"Aw, c'mon Remus!" James and Sirius complained. "We've never explored this area before. And there's gotta be a secret passageway around here somewhere. Don't you want to find it?"

"Not particularly. Besides, what if Dumbledore comes out while we're wandering around?"

"Then you wait here and Sirius and I will look around."

Remus rolled his eyes. "And just _how_ am I supposed to let you know when he comes out?"

"Fine. We'll wait here." Sirius looked somewhat less than thrilled.

A hour or so later, when James and Sirius were getting bored and starting to think longing of going down to the Great Hall and cursing all the Slytherins they could get their wands on, the gargoyle moved aside. All three of them scrambled to their feet.

Dumbledore stepped out into the corridor, only to be surrounded by three twelve-year-olds. When he recognized them, his eyebrows shot up. "What in Merlin's name are you three doing here?" he asked quietly.

"Well, we're pretty sure we got sent forward in time," Remus spoke up.

"How did you manage that?"

Remus looked at Sirius, who was studying the floor, concentrating on it very hard.

"Mr. Black?" Dumbledore prompted.

"Wetriedtopullaprankbutitbakfiredandnowwe'rehere," Sirius mumbled as fast as he could.

"I'm afraid I didn't quite catch that, Mr. Black."

Sirius took a deep breath. "We tried to pull a prank but it backfired and now we're here."

Dumbledore looked at him for a moment. Three twelve-year-olds had just catapulted almost twenty years into the future. He sighed. This could not be good. "Will the three of you please come up to my office?" Despite the phrasing, it was not a request. The boys stepped onto the moving staircase with Dumbledore behind them. Remus had a sneaking suspicion that Dumbledore was making sure none of them tried to escape.

Once they were all seated in Dumbledore's office, Sirius echoed his friends' thoughts.

"Can you get us back home? I mean, to our time?"

"Most likely. However, it will take some time. Since I do not wish for you to get behind in your studies, you will attend classes with the other Gryffindors of your year." His eyes twinkled at them. He was obviously very amused about something. "You're currently second years, correct?"

The three nodded mutely.

That seemed to amuse him even more, though he knew that the other teachers, particularly Prof. McGonagall and Prof. Snape, would not be happy. McGonagall because she had already had the three of them for seven years and would remember how much trouble they caused, Snape because he had always loathed the three of them. They also would have to deal with the Weasley twins in the same period. No, they definitely would not be happy.

"Now," Dumbledore said briskly, "you will be introduced as exchange students. Your surnames must be changed, of course, to keep students from discovering that you're from the past –it might cause confusion. Despite how much you seem to thrive on confusion, I must ask you not to tell your fellow students that you are from the past.

"James, you will go by Cooper, Remus, you will go by Thompson, Sirius, you will be Mr. Causs. All of you, remember your names. Try not to slip up. Any questions?"

"I have one," Remus said. "Why those names?"

"They are wizarding families that have all but died out. Your families' attitude towards the Dark Side, Muggle-borns, Muggles, and various other things were typical of the family whose name I gave you."

"I have a question, too," Sirius said. "What is Snape doing here?"

Dumbledore smiled slightly. "He is the Potions master."

Sirius looked slightly ill at the thought, and he wasn't the only one. James was dead white. "Snape is our professor?" he croaked, his voiced sounding odd.

"Yes." Dumbledore's smile broadened at the look on James and Sirius' faces. "I think it's time for you to meet your new classmates. Come with me."

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I'll try to update soon! Can anyone give me prank ideas or detention ideas? Pur-lease????


	3. Signing His Own Detention Slip

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If you want to talk to the owner, call J.K. Rowling. Then give me her number so I can talk to her about the death of one of my favorite characters.

Summary: James, Sirius, and Remus (as second years) go back to when the Weasley twins were second years (the year before Harry, Ron, and Hermione start). Can Hogwarts handle all five of them at once? Will they manage to run all the Slytherins out of Hogwarts? (I wish.) Please R&R!

A/N: I love reviewers!!! –hint– And if anyone wants to use any of the spells I create, just e-mail me: HorseElf9@netscape.net 

Tielle: Thanks for telling me about my settings, I've fixed them.

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"I would like to introduce three new students!" Dumbledore gestured at Sirius, Remus and James. "James Cooper, Sirius Causs and Remus Thompson!" He waited while a few students and staff clapped politely. "They are second years and have been sorted into Gryffindor." There was a half-hearted cheer from the Gryffindor table. The Weasley twins grinned at each other.

The three "exchange students" went to go sit down. Behind them, McGonagall had started talking to Dumbledore.

"Albus, how, exactly, did those three get here?"

"Apparently, a spell they were working on backfired. Don't look so worried, Minerva. In a little while, they'll be back in their own time," Dumbledore replied.

"You are putting those three into my class with the Weasley's, and you tell me not to worry? The five of them will blow my classroom apart!"

"As I recall, you had those three for seven years, with your classroom none the worse."

"Three, yes. Five?"

"They'll be back in their own time soon," Dumbledore assured her.

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Down at the Gryffindor table, George nudged his twin. "Look at Snape!" he whispered. If looks could kill, Sirius and James would be dead, with Remus not far behind.

"Wonder why Snape hates them?" Fred asked.

George nodded. "There's only one way to find out," he said. The two of them moved down next to the three new students.

"So," George said casually, "why does Snape hate you three?"

Fred almost groaned aloud. So much for smooth.

James looked at George for a second. "Why?"

"Because he looks like he's about to murder you three."

Sirius grinned. "Good."

"Why is that good?" Remus asked, looking at Sirius like he was crazy.

"Because, then I don't have to pretend to like him. He hates me, I hate him, everyone knows, it's perfect!"

Now everyone was looking like they were questioning Sirius' sanity.

"Oooo-kaaay," Fred said, edging away from Sirius.

"Yeah, Sirius, that makes perfect sense," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

Sirius didn't appear to notice the looks. He leaned towards the Weasley twins. "Do you two like to pull pranks and just generally annoy the teachers and the Slytherins?" he asked softly, glancing warily towards the staff table. Several times last year, McGonagall had overheard prank-plotting sessions. Needless to say, she had not been thrilled with them.

"Of course!" they said together. "Who wouldn't?" George added.

"The teachers," Remus replied. "And I doubt the Slytherins like it much either."

"They don't count," James said, flapping a hand in Remus' direction as if waving his comments aside.

"Until we get caught."

"You worry too much," Sirius informed Remus. "We're not going to get caught."

"Did you three have anything special in mind?" George asked, grinning mischievously.

"Not really, why? Do you have any good ideas?"

"A couple," Fred said, a grin identical to George's growing on his face.

"Like?" James prompted, also grinning.

The twins launched into a description of a couple of the pranks that would be easiest to pull off. Remus groaned inwardly. Too many pranks…Not good. Sometimes he got the feeling that James and Sirius actually _liked_ getting put in detention. This was one of those times.

"You're going to help us, right Remus?" Sirius asked, breaking into Remus' thoughts. He gave Remus his best puppy dog eyes. Remus groaned again, this time out loud. "Who else can keep you from to something incredibly stupid?"

"So you're in?" Fred asked.

Slowly Remus nodded. Signing his own detention slip…

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I'd just like to thank everyone who's reviewed so far: **FrozenFlare, Lady-Of-The-Rings, hsq9, Tielle, PhoenixRae, **and** Goten-Lupin.**

Sorry this is so short, I had major writer's block. Next one will be longer, promise!


	4. Green Hair and Other Matters

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If you want to talk to the owner, call J.K. Rowling. Then give me her number so I can talk to her about the death of one of my favorite characters. *I love you Sirius!!!*

Summary: James, Sirius, and Remus (as second years) go back to when the Weasley twins were second years (the year before Harry, Ron, and Hermione start). Can Hogwarts handle all five of them at once? Will they manage to run all the Slytherins out of Hogwarts? (I wish.) Please R&R!

A/N: I love reviewers!!! –hint– And if anyone wants to use any of the spells I create, just e-mail me: HorseElf9@netscape.net 

I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, **_REALLY_** sorry about taking so long to update!!!!!!!! *gasps for breath*

Hopefully this is a little longer than the last one!

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Chapter 4: Green Hair and Other Matters

The five of them trooped up to Gryffindor Tower. After one of the Weasley's gave the password ("Phoenix feather") to the Fat Lady, they all climbed through the portrait hole. They were met by an angry-looking boy with green hair and dreadlocks.

"What did you two do to my hair?!" he yelled, glaring at the twins.

George grinned. "Dyed it. What, you don't like it?"

Fred faked a hurt look. "We worked so hard on it…"

"…we even _studied_…"

"…and you don't like it. That's depressing, that is. All our hard work gone to waste."

The boy didn't let up on his glare. "I can't let Melissa see me with green hair!"

"Like she sees you at _all_," George muttered.

Apparently deciding that it was safer to drop the subject of Melissa, the boy looked at the three time-travelers who had been watching the scene with interest.. "Who are you?"

"Remus Lu-er…Thompson."

"Sirius Causs."

"James Cooper."

"Lee Jordan," the boy replied before turning back to the twins. "Why won't it wash out?" he asked, a bit calmer than he was before.

"It's Flitwick's fault, really," George said in tones of utmost reason. "He mentioned that charm. We couldn't resist trying it out."

Fred nodded his agreement. "Exactly. And you know that if it was anyone else you'd be laughing."

The corner of Lee's mouth quirked up. "Yeah," he admitted grudgingly. "How long until it wears off?"

The twins looked at each other and shrugged. "A few days…"

"…or a week…"

"…maybe a month…"

"A **_month_**?!?!" Lee's eyes bugged out slightly. "I'm gonna have green hair for a _month_?"

"Maybe less," Fred said quickly.

Lee's eyes narrowed. "You two are_ so_ dead."

"Can we deal with Snape first?" James asked.

"You're going to play a prank on Snape? You'll be in detention for the rest of your lives!" Lee was looking at them like they were mad. Remus silently agreed with him.

"We're just going to send him some mail," James said innocently.

Lee rolled his eyes-apparently he was so used to the Weasley's that innocent didn't fool him-and stormed up to the boys dormitories.

"Maybe we shouldn't have put that charm on his hair," Fred said, "I think it's affecting his brain."

George nodded. "Must've."

"Alright," James said briskly. "Shall we get started, then?"

"Does anyone have a Howler envelope?" Remus asked, apparently resigned to his fate.

"Yep," George said, pulling a bright red envelope out of his robes. "Mum keeps a pile of them, just in case we blow something up, or whatever," he explained, seeing the surprise on the time-travelers' faces.

"Better get to work then. Let me do the talking," Sirius said, grinning wickedly.

George surrendered the envelope, and they started trying to create a Howler for Snape. It took four tries-the first two were ruined by laughter, the third because Sirius forgot to disguise his voice.

Finally, they had a perfect Howler. Well, Snape wouldn't find it perfect, but all the pranksters, even Remus, agreed that it was going to be awesome when it started yelling at him in the middle of breakfast.

"Now all we need is an owl," Sirius said, looking at the twins. "Do you have one?"

"We normally use Lee's," Fred explained, "but that probably wouldn't be a good idea right now, considering the fact that he still has green hair."

"Any other boys in your dorm?" Remus asked.

The Weasley's exchanged evil grins. "None of them came back this year. We only played one or two harmless pranks…"

"…more like fifty…"

"…or a hundred…"

"…and they decided that they hated us and weren't coming back."

Remus shook his head, though a smile was tugging at his mouth. James and Sirius had done much the same thing to their fifth roommate, who had run off after about two or three months. "We better use a school owl, then. Let's go."

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Next chapter will be the Howler! Any one with ideas to what it should say, e-mail me, or put in your review! (Besides the usual "Slimy git" and "Wash your hair" comments.)

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Wow, NINE reviews!! *faints in shock*

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Dfgdfg: Thanks! I'll try to keep the OC's to a minimum, but there will be some, sorry. As for Mary-Sues and self-insertions…well, there won't be any on purpose!

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Perfect-Skye: My sixth grade math teacher really _did_ make us sign our own detention slips. And the assistant principal's wondered why so few kids caused trouble in that class…

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Tielle: Wow! I'm really glad you like it! Here's another chapter for you! I might let James & Co. stay 'til next year and then get sent back, or I may find another way for them to meet…I want Harry to meet James too!

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Just Kidding Rowling: Glad you like it! Here's an update.

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Angie-Lina: Here's Lee! Not sure how well I did him, but… *shrugs* Angelina and Alicia should show up next chapter, but I'm not making promises about Katie since she's a first year.

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Dogstar-girl-16: I'm glad you like it! Darn it, you're right, Sirius and Remus are odd names. With Remus it won't matter, but with Sirius…well, I'm too lazy to change it. ^_~ And now that you've mentioned it, I've got an idea! *does a happy dance* Stay tuned to find out what it is…(It prolly sucks, but oh, well.)

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Mihenna: Glad you think so! I'll do my best! (Caffeine rules… ^_~)

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Fourthelement: heehee… I think I might use that, thanks! And see **Tielle**'s reply.

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Lily Stanley: Thanks. Here's an update!

Could any of you wonderful reviewers hop over to my other story, Before the Beginning? Pur-lease? If you hate it, feel free to go anonymous and flame it! But I'm all lonesome over there…Two chapters and only one review total. *cries* (And that muse is still mostly alive and mostly sane, whereas this one is going insane from prolonged contact with Gred and Forge. ^_~)


	5. Instant Trouble: Just Add Boomslang Skin

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I DO, however, have a mortal fear of lawyers. So please don't sue me.  
  
A/N: Evil computer. Need I say more? Oh, and this was typed on Notepad. -This- means italics. And in case your wondering, Notepad doesn't have Spellchack. I apologize in advance for any mistakes.

* * *

Chapter Five: Instant Trouble: Just Add Boomslang Skin.  
  
The next morning, all five of the pranksters hurried down to the Great Hall, trying to get there before Snape's Howler. After all, it wouldn't be any fun if they weren't there to watch it, though Remus sensibly suggested that they sit near the doors, ready to escape just in case Snape tried to murder them. Knowing Snape, he probably would.  
  
Not ten minutes after they arrived, a barn owl swooped down and dropped a scarlet envelope in front of Snape. The barn owl flew away like its life depended on it. Considering the circumstances, it probably did.  
  
Then the Howler exploded. "SNIVELLUS SNAPE!" The hall went silent except for the snickers coming from up and down the Gryffindor table. "YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO BE A PROFESSOR! IF YOU HAD ANY BRAINS, YOU'D KNOW HOW TO USE SOMETHING CALLED SHAMPOO TO WASH YOUR HAIR!!" This brought a roar of laughter from the Gryffindors, with quite a few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws joining in. Even some Slytherins had smirks on their faces. But the Howler didn't stop there. No, it proceeded to list every prank played on Snape since he had become a teacher-the list was courtesy of the twins, who had heard about most of them from their brothers...the ones that they hadn't played themselves, that is. By the time the Howler finished, practically every student was laughing, a couple even rolling on the floor. Snape looked paler than usual and somehow even more dangerous. And McGonagall...McGonagall had left the staff table and was heading straight towards them, her mouth the thinnest of thin lines.  
  
The moment she reached them, she rapped out, "All of you. My office. Now."  
  
"But we didn't do anything," Sirius protested, eyes wide.  
  
"NOW!" she repeated, eyes flashing dangerously.  
  
They went.  
  
"Keep denying it," Sirius hissed. "If we get lucky, she might give up." Unlikely, but it was worth a shot.  
  
"Or Snape will come in and force Veritaserum down our throats," Remus pointed out gloomily.  
  
"Veri-what?" James asked, giving Remus a we-know-you're-smarter-than-us-so-don't-rub-it-in look.  
  
"Veritaserum. It's a very powerful truth potion."  
  
"How d'you know that?" Sirius asked, looking at Remus. "You're terrible at Potions."  
  
"Gee, thanks, Sirius," Remus said sarcastically.  
  
"No, he has a point," James said. "You are bad at Potions."  
  
"Exactly. I did extra research so that I wouldn't fail."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Anyway, Veritaserum is controlled by the Ministry, but after that Howler, I doubt he cares about the Ministry."  
  
"Probably not," George agreed.  
  
They walked for another minute or so, then turned into McGonagall's office. There were five chairs in front of her desk.  
  
"Hey!" James said indignantly. "She was expecting us to get in trouble!" He grinned suddenly. "Cool."  
  
The other four laughed for a second before sitting down. Sirius leaned back, balancing on just two of the chair legs. They waited in relative silence for McGonagall.  
  
She arrived two minutes later. Snape was right behind her. Sirius nearly fell over backwards before managing to find his balance again.   
  
"Mr. Bla-Causs, put all four chair legs on the ground," were the Transfiguration Professor's first words. Scowling, Sirius obeyed. "I assume you all know why you're here?" she asked.  
  
"Yes," James said. "For not sending him," he glared at Snape, "a Howler."  
  
"Do you know what a Legilimens is, Cooper?" This, surprisingly, came from Snape. It was a bit amazing that he could talk and still keep his smirk in place, James thought idly.  
  
"A greasy git?" Sirius suggested in an undertone. The other four fought to keep from laughing out loud. Snape's smirk became more pronounced.  
  
"For your information, a Legilimens can, among other things, tell when a person is lying to them. Like your friend just was, for example."  
  
"Thank you, Severus. I will deal with these five from here." McGonagall said before James and Sirius could say anything back.  
  
Snape looked like he would rather strangle all five second years, but nodded and left, giving the fivesome his best "Death Glare."  
  
"100 points will be taken from Gryffindor and you will all be serving detention for a month. Two weeks with Professor Snape, then two with Mr. Filch. Is that clear?" McGonagall's tone suggested that it had BETTER be clear.  
  
"Yes, ma'am," Remus answered for all of them.  
  
"Good," she said shortly. "Now, I suggest that you all hurry. Class starts in ten minutes."  
  
They all scrambled for the door, eager to get away from McGonagall.  
  
"What's our first class?" Remus asked as they headed up to Gryffindor Tower to get their things.  
  
"Potions," George groaned. "I think we should have waited until tomorrow to send that Howler."  
  
Remus winced. Potions and an angry Snape would not make for a fun class.  
  
They gathered their books quickly (A/N: I'm going to claim writer's license here for how J, S, & R got books.) and hurried down to the dungeons.  
  
They managed to be only five minutes late. "Well," Snape said, sneering, "since you're five minutes late, I think we'll make it five points each from Gryffindor. Sit down."  
  
Remus grabbed the back of James' robes to keep him from throttling Snape and pushed him towards a seat, then followed him. Sirius took a seat on the other side of Remus and the twins sat down behind them.  
  
"Today," Snape began, glaring at the five Gryffindors, "We will be making a simple Sleeping Draught. The proper method is on the board, the ingrediants are in the store cuboard. Get to work."  
  
"What a hands-on teacher," Sirius muttered sarcastically to the four other pranksters.  
  
Fred snorted. "Wait until we start actually brewing the potion. He becomes very interested in our work. Interested enough to insult our intelligence every time we make the tiniest mistake."  
  
"Slimy git," George added.  
  
"Weasley, Weasly, Cooper, Thompson, Causs! 20 points from Gryffindor. Now, get your ingrediants and get back to your seats!"  
  
"Slimy, -biased- git," George amended.  
  
"Hear, hear," James muttered, throwing a glare in Snape's direction as he dumped everything next to his cauldron.  
  
Sirius gave James a truly wicked grin. "Hey, James...do you remeber what happens when you add boomslang skin to this potion?"  
  
A grin slowly grew on James' face. "Right when he passes by?"  
  
"Sounds about right to me. Remus, you may want to work at a different table."  
  
"Already moving," Remus replied. "Do you guys want any help?"  
  
"Help with what?" Fred and George asked in unison.  
  
"When Snape walks by me or Sirius, add boomslang skin," James said secretively.  
  
"What'll happen?" George asked eagerly. He and Fred had never added the wrong ingrediant on purpose. They weren't too keen on the thought of Snape's rage, but now that they'd already gotten hime angry...annoying him more was fun! Except for the detentions.  
  
James only smiled and said, "You'll see. You'll see."

* * *

Whew! This is not my favorite chapter of the five, but I hope you enjoy it! Wow! 13 reviews! I feel so loved!!! hugs reviewers  
  
Review replies:  
  
Tielle: Here ya go!  
  
Anonymous: Nice name. :-) Sorry it took so long.  
  
Digigirls37: heeheeheee...But I don't think any of them speak Spanish or Japanese. Made me laugh though! Didn't want to send anything with the Howler (can you imagine how much more trouble they'd be in? shudder) but, if you don't mind of course, I'd like to use those ideas later in the fic! I mean, I'd give you the credit and everything.  
  
The Enchantress: No! Not the puppy-dog eyes! NOOOOO!!!!!   
  
Queen of Zan: Thanks for reviewing all four chapters!  
  
diamond004: They were trying to send it anonymously, so putting in a prank that the Marauders pulled would have been a very bad idea. But would you mind if I used that idea in either this story or my other one? I'd give you credit and everything, of course.  
  
BamsSk8Chic: Glad you like it! Here ya go!  
  
vuzznut: Glad you like it! You think I'm funny? -blushes-  
  
Nicole: Glad you like it and glad I improved your day! You think I'm funny too? -jumps up and down-  
  
AngelSword: Thank you! 


	6. Secrets of Success

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, do you seriously think I would be writing _fan_fiction? 

This chapter is dedicated to **Digigirls37** for giving me the idea to turn Snape's skin different colors!

* * *

**Chapter Six: Secrets of Success**

Snape had, quite wisely, avoided the Gryffindor boys for most of the period and it was almost time for the bell. While this was, as George pointed out, an improvement from normal classes with him, it also meant that they hadn't been able to put their plan into action. Unfortunately, Snape _was_ still taking points: Gryffindor had lost fifty or sixty points, not counting the ones he took at the very beginning.

Finally, Snape appeared to decide that it was time to go torture the five Gryffindors. He stopped next to Remus and sneered at the potion, which was bright blue intead of the dark red it was supposed to be.

The sneer seemed to be the cue for the other four pranksters, all of whom had just grabbed some boomslang skin and dropped it into their respective cauldrons.

BOOM! The cauldrons exploded almost instantly, giving all of the Gryffindors and any nearby Slytherins barely enough time to dive under their desks. The only one caught in the open was Snape and he got postively drenched by the combined contents of four separate cauldrons.

Immediately, his robes, skin, and hair started changing color. First pink, then purple, then red, then blue, then orange, then yellow, then green...

Luckily for the Gryffindors, the bell rang before Snape had recovered from his shock enough to take points, and they all bolted from the dungeons. The quintet of pranksters didn't stop until they had put five floors between themselves and the very angry Potions Master. They all leaned against the walls, breathing hard. 

"That was amazing," Fred said when he caught his breath. "Good thing we got out of there fast, though." 

"How long will it last?" George asked, grinning. 

"One week," Sirius replied with a smirk. "And any non-colorful clothes he tries to put on will absorb the potion and start changing colors as well." 

Fred laughed. "Good thing we don't have Potions again this week then!" 

Remus paled. "No," he said slowly, "but we do have detention with him every night for the next two weeks." 

Fred stopped laughing and stared at Remus before slumping back against the wall. "We're dead," he said hollowly. "_Dead_. We just haven't bothered to lie down yet." 

James took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Well, we better get to our next class or we'll end up in even more detentions." 

George nodded. "Transfiguration next," he said. "And McGonagall's not going to be thrilled with us either." 

"Joy," Sirius muttered sarcastically, rolling his eyes. 

Fred just groaned before leading the way to Transfiguration, which passed uneventfully. All five pranksters were actually behaving, truly a rare event. 

Finally, the bell rang, but before they could escape to lunch, McGonagall's voice sounded. 

"Mr. Thompson, please stay behind." 

It took Remus a second to remember that he was "Mr. Thompson," but when he did, he reluctantly turned around, suppressing a sigh. James and Sirius shot him sympathetic looks before following the twins out into the corridor. 

"You go on," James said. "We'll wait here for Remus and meet you in the Hall." 

The twins gave each other slightly skeptical glances. 

"We remember the way," Sirius assured them, noticing the looks. 

George shrugged. "Well, if you're sure." With that, the twins left. 

The two time-travelers waited in silence for a few minutes until Remus stepped out into the corridor. 

"What'd McGonagall want?" Sirius asked as the three boys headed towards the Great Hall. 

"Nothing," Remus replied a little too quickly. "Why didn't you two go on with Fred and George?" he asked, hastily changing the subject. 

"Yeah, James, why didn't we?" Sirius asked, distracted. 

"The cloak," he said simply. "D'you think we should show it to them?" 

Sirius and Remus exchanged looks. "It's your cloak," Remus pointed out. "Why ask us?" 

James sighed impatiently, running a hand through his hair. "Because it's the secret to _our_ success. I mean, it's _technically_ mine, but we all use it." 

"Yeah..." Sirius said slowly. "I dunno, James. They're good pranksters, but you never know. They could end up turning us in for something." 

"I don't think so," Remus said thoughtfully. "They don't seem like the type to turn anyone in-friend or foe." 

"Still..." Sirius replied, unconvinced. "Maybe we should wait a bit, just until we know them a little better." 

James nodded slowly. "Alright. But just for a little while." 

"Right."   
-----------------------------------------------  
Fred and George were on their way to the Great Hall, talking quietly. 

"We can't show them the map! What if one of them runs off and tells McGonagall?" Fred was saying frantically. 

"They wouldn't," George said waving Fred's concerns away. "Weren't you in Potions earlier? They like causing trouble as much as we do! They're not like Percy." 

"I know _that_. But...the map? It's the secret of our success, George! We can't go around showing it to everyone just because they happen to be good at pulling pranks." 

"But they're _really_ good at playing pranks," the other Weasley replied persuasively. "Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs would approve." 

Fred scowled. "A week," he said abruptly. "Give them a week, and if they're still non-Percy-ish, then we'll show it to them." 

"Deal."  
-----------------------------------------------  
It was the end of the day, and all six of the second year Gryffindor boys, both past and present, were asleep. All but one, that is. Remus was still awake, thinking back over the converstion he had had with Professor McGonagall. 

_As the last of the Gryffindors left, Remus stood in front of the stern Transfiguration Professor's desk._

_"Lupin," she began, "the full moon is in a week and a half."_

_"What?" he asked, confused. "But it was just-" Realization dawned. "Oh. Time change."_

_She nodded. "However, in this_ _time-"_

_"There's a cure?" Remus interrupted eagerly, unable to stop himself._

_Slowly she shook her head, and Remus' spirits dropped. "No. There is not a cure. There _is_ a potion, though, that...diminishes the effects somewhat." Seeing that the young lycanthrope didn't understand, she elaborated. "You will still transform, but the potion allows you to keep your mind somewhat."_

_"So...I won't have to worry about injuring myself?" he asked uncertainly._

_A slight nod was her only reply._

_"I won't have to worry about biting anyone else either, right? So I could stay in the hospital wing?"_

_She smiled slightly. "Yes, you may stay in the hospital wing. Now," she said briskly, "You will have to take the potion every day for the week leading up to the full moon."_

_Remus nodded, listening carefully as she instructed him to come to her office immediately after dinner and before detention every night, starting on Thursday._

Remus sighed, rolling over in bed. How was he supposed to explain it to the others? He couldn't say that a relative was ill, as he had in the past. James and Sirius wouldn't buy that in the least. He sighed again, trying to come up with a plan. 

Slowly, he fell asleep, half-formed plans dancing through his mind.

* * *

Yes, she called him Lupin. They were alone, and that's how she is used to addressing him. 

In case anyone is interested, this is the longest chapter so far in this story! (Though considering the fact that there are ony 1400-some words, that's not saying much...)

For those of you who don't read my author page (don't lie, I know most of you don't), I've created an update schedule. The fifteenth of every month, I will update this story. Okay? Everybody got that? Good. :)

But, since I'm in a giving mood (and because I'm bored and want reviews -hint hint-), I'm giving this chapter to you a day early. Enjoy!  
  
**Review Replies**:

The Enchantresses: Here's the update!

Visi Chi: Here's the update! heeheee, I love the word awesomeness...

Hawaiian-Rachael: Glad you like it! Here's the update!

Digigirls37: heeheehee...Sounds funny! Thanks for reviewing!

diamond004: Lookee, I updated again! -grin- I'm not really sure how long they'll stay in the future, but the way I'm leaning right now, they'll go home around Easter.

Jasmijn: Glad you like it! Here's the update!

shadow929: You think it's funny? -blush- Here's the update!

Accio Flaming Stake: I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job with Fred and George! They're my favorite characters! (Except Sirius, of course. -cries-) Here's the update!

Kaydon: Here's more!

NcBllt85: Glad you like it! Here ya go!

Mrs Padfoot-Sparrow: ...huh?

Lady Silvamord: No!! You can't die! You have to keep writing so I can get more Kala/Alan goodness! And you like my writing? Wow. I'm honored. And funny! ;)

You Annoy Me: So...I'm guessing you wanted me to update? Well, here you go! Nice name, by the way.


	7. Secrets Revealed

Disclaimer: I didn't own Harry Potter yesterday, I don't own Harry Potter today, and I won't own Harry Potter tomorrow. In short, I never have, and never will, own Harry Potter.

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Secrets Revealed**

A week later, the twins, James, and Sirius were on the way to the dungeons for yet another of their detentions with Snape, all of them speculating on why Remus had been leaving them right after dinner for several days. Since he always managed to get to the dungeons at the same time as the other four, none of them had really noticed or cared the first couple of times.

Sure enough, as soon as they reached the steps to the dungeons, footsteps sounded behind them. The four of them turned to face an out-of-breath Remus.

"And once again, he arrives just in time to head down to the dungeons," Sirius said in a deep voice, trying to mimic the announcers on the WWN. 

Remus rolled his eyes, and fell into step with the others as they continued down the stairs. 

"So what've you been doing every evening?" James asked, going for the direct approach. 

"Detention," Remus replied, purposely ignoring the real question James was asking as they entered the Potions classroom. Behind him, he could've sworn that one of the twins muttered something. He turned his head just in time to catch a burst of light come from George's wand and hit the door frame. 

He shot them a curious look, but they just grinned at him. Shaking his head, but with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, he joined Sirius and James next to a pile of cauldrons. 

"Did it work?" James hissed as the twins followed Remus over. 

"Think so," Fred replied quietly. 

"Did _what_ work?" Remus was nearly wild with curiosity, though he was almost positive that he would disaprove. 

"Well," George began, "Whenever a Slytherin walks through that door, they _should_ get oatmeal dumped on them." 

"I just hope it'll work on _him_." Sirius never had to say who _he_ was. All of them knew that he was referring to Snape. 

"Silence," Snape snapped from his desk, where he grading papers. All five Gryffindors thought it somehow ominous that Snape had pretty much ignored them every detention so far. James, Fred, and Sirius also thought that he had some sinister motive for only making them scrub cauldrons. George and Remus didn't bother. As long as they weren't disembowling anything, they didn't care. 

Finally, the five Gryffindors finished and Snape dismissed them. When they got to the Common Room, George said, "Wait. Fred and I have something to show you." 

Fred nodded reluctantly. "The secret to our sucess, you might say." 

James, Sirius, and Remus exchanged a look. "We have something to show you as well," James said quietly. 

The Weasleys stared at them. "You do?" 

Sirius nodded. "The secret of _our_ sucess back home." 

"We might want to do this in the dormitory," Remus suggested, looking nervously at the stairs. "Anyone could come down and overhear." 

James nodded. "Remus is right. Let's go." 

The twins looked at each other, shrugged, and followed the time-travelers upstairs. Remus cast a Silencing Charm on the door under the amazed eyes of the other four. "What?" he asked, noticing the looks. 

"We don't learn Silencing Charms until fifth year," George said slowly, still staring at Remus. 

"Oh," Remus said awkwardly, fidgeting slighlty. "Well, I read ahead a bit, learned a couple of spells..." 

There was silence for a few seconds, then James seemed to snap out of it. "Well," he said briskly. "Shall we get on with it?" He reached down and pulled something from under his bed. "Presenting...an Invisibility Cloak!" he said grandly, wrapping it around him. 

George's jaw dropped and Fred nearly dropped the old piece of parchment that he had just removed from his trunk. "I don't believe it," George breathed. 

"An invisibility cloak," Fred finished, staring at where James had just reappeared. 

"So, what d'you have?" Sirius asked, after giving them a few moments to admire the cloak 

Fred grinned and tapped the piece of parchment with his wand. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said. 

James, Sirius, and Remus leaned forward as lines spread from the spot Fred had tapped. Curly writing at the top identified it as the Marauder's Map, created by Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. 

George smiled and patted the map as one might pat a faitful dog. "Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," he sighed. "We owe them so much." 

None of the time-travelers were paying any attention to George, to busy examing the labeled dots moving around. "Wow," James said finally. "This is...amazing." 

"Do you know how complicated this must have been to make?" Remus asked admiringly. 

"Who cares? It's brilliant no matter how many spells were used. I wonder who Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs were?" 

Fred shook his head. "Dunno. We got it out of Filch's cabinet in our first year." 

"Too bad," Sirius said, disappointed. 

For the second time that night, all five boys were silent. Then Fred wiped the map and Remus lowered the Silencing Charm. One by one, they drifted off to sleep, unaware of the fact that Lee had been awake and had listened to the whole conversation. 

He wasn't quite sure what he would do with the information, but he filed it away in case he ever found a way to use it. Smirking slightly, he rolled over and succumbed to sleep.

* * *

AN: -singing- Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me-ee... Happy Birthday to me! 

Review Replies:

Sliver-moon-kitty: Glad you like. Here you go!

The Enchantresses: Here's more! No Snape torture, unfortunately, but there should be some soon! And there's _setup_ for Slytherin torture here! Oh, and about my review...I meant to say (write?) that I've seen plenty Harry/Hermione _switch bodies_ fics. Sorry!

Kara Adar: Cannot...resist...puppy-dog...face...must...update... ;) Here you go!

diamond004: Erm...I'd say that they got to the future September 4th (which I'm going to say was a Sunday), Snape got the Howler on the 5th (and he got the nice color-changing potion -whistles innocently-), so in this chapter it's the 12th. The full moon will be the 15th. And no, they won't be staying until next Easter...but they'll still meet Harry!

Lady Silvamord: -claps hands- A humor writer? Me? Thank you! And sorry I haven't reviewed Ch. 13 of Squire Kalahari, but my computer's been fritzing lately and won't let me open up the little review window. I did read it though, and I can honestly say that it ties for second place with the Rikash chapter. First is, and always will be, the "Wyldie" scene! And Descisions is awesome as well!

Kerei Kitsune: Glad you like it! Here you go!

shadow929: No, it was a good blush! :) And no, James and Sirius don't know yet.

You Annoy Me: Here you go!

Jeanne2: Thanks, I'm glad you like it! Here's an update!

hermoine21: Glad you liked the prank! Here's a new chapter!

PhoenixLupin: Yes, Hogwarts certainly is doomed!

Flaignhan: I know that line is a bit too 'American,' but I couldn't resist! Forgive me, please? I try to keep them English, but I've loved that line since I saw The Wizard of Oz, so I just had to use it! I promise to try to keep it from happening again.


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